Heeey guys, not sure if you remember me or not, but I'm back! And I actually have something to write this time, not just linking to my youtube page (which btw has a few new videos up in the past week or two if you wanna check em out! ColeinThailandRYE ). But first, read this, might as well while you're here. :)
So in my own humble opinion, which may differ drastically from yours and seem outright bonkers, but it is mine nonetheless, I feel that I am (or at least have some tendencies to be) fairly mature. Simply living the life I have, experiencing what I have, and very importantly, being brought up and raised with the values and morals that I have, has led me to be who I am today. I believe that those circumstances have so far culminated to me having a decent head on my shoulders and being able to act my age from time to time. However, just today, quite unexpectedly and quite abruptly, I realized something. In my case, maturity has occasionally flashed upon me, and maybe at one point I can act as if I'm say, 25, for example. Despite this, I'm still 18... I have still only lived through a meagre blip in my life (or so I hope!) and therefore have an equivalent level of life experience. I never assumed I was all-knowing or anything, but I sure did let my bits of maturity blind me from this to a fuller extent.
So acting 25 may be great and all from time to time, but then certain situations will come up, where I still lack the 7 years of practical examples and lessons to show me right and wrong, left and right, North and South. This can be a very tricky place to find yourself, when you are totally clueless as to how you should handle some circumstances, and it certainly knocked me off my little bit of a high horse here.
Maybe I'm not quite all I figured I was after all. Maybe my mom actually is right sometimes. Heck, maybe even my teachers are right occasionally. Who am I say to say I know anything right now? So I've lived through 12 years of school so far, okay great, as has nearly every other person my age. So why should I presume, especially before trying to understand their perspective, that I am any more "right" than they are? Which I must regretfully say, I can definitely be found guilty of. Now that sure doesn't seem too mature of me anymore... Sure, I have now acknowledged this, but it still means jack-all until I do something about it. I think I gotta just stop pretending I'm all high and mighty sometimes, and take a bit of a reality check. I'm still just a little spring chick over here. I've got a heck of a ways to go before I earn my right to think that I know what life is all about.
Trust me when I say this, the two values, maturity and life experience, do NOT have to go hand in hand. I sure found that out first hand. As self-degrading as this may sound, I'm not upset or nothing about this. I honestly found it slightly amusing, and it did give me a bit of a boot in the ass, which I'm sure hoping I can learn from and do something about.
Voila a little bit more insight into whats going inside my jumbled nutshell of a head, I'm actually quite surprised I even managed to spit out some vaguely comprehensible words about what's going on up there. Just letting the brain juices flow is all. :)
Much Love,
William Cole
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